9/29/2008

So Bad They're Good

You arrive at an aquantence's house for a cocktail party ready to unleash your inner party animal. You don't know a heck of a lot of people, but you still have hopes of a great evening. There might even be a lampshade or two to be worn. Who knows?!

Then, it happens. Seemingly out of nowhere. You weren't prepared. Although after the dust has settled you realize you should have known. You saw the, "I hate four-letter words…wash, dust, iron, cook, diet." sign on the wall straight from the Lilian Vernon catalog. You felt oddly out of place without a sparkly, "fun" Christmas sweater.



You could smell the bunco dice hiding someplace wondering why they weren't included on this night.

Your hostess brings you a drink with THIS...




Is this some sort of awful joke? Oh, yeah, it is! My hostess wonders where they come up with such funny stuff.

Really?

I'm not saying I'm a comic genius, but how many "funny" cocktail napkins have actually struck you as funny? I'll answer that for you. None. Whoever is the, "Napkin Saying Maker Upper" sucks! And I'm not judging, but anyone who buys them because they "just tickle you" should be put down like a racehorse with a broken leg.

Here are some more hilarious party stoppers...

.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Stop!!!
This one made me cry I laughed so hard!


And the always HIGHlarious...



This next one isn't funny at all! What if you're not a good speller. It doesn't mean you're stupid!! Right???



Stumble It!

145 comments:

Chat Blanc said...

It's not really a party until there's so much spillage and debauchery that all the unfunny napkins in the world couldn't clean it up. At least that's what I've heard.

Cary said...

People got paid for that shit, too.

ReformingGeek said...

Oh yeah. Those will make a lively party. Those aren't even worth folding for paper airplanes.

Kirsten said...

@Sandy-I've heard the same thing, but I wouldn't know either. ;)

@cary-I know! I could do that job. I wonder how it pays?

@reforming-You said it!!

ettarose said...

I personally think they would make excellent toilet paper. Make your roids scream with laughter!

Jenn Thorson said...

Good gravy... I think all the people who lose their jobs at Hallmark and American Greetings in the marketing department must get downgraded to cocktail napkin humor.

Some go on to do t-shirts in the "What On Earth" catalog, too.

Jean Knee said...

uhm. I really liked the total waste of makeup one. It really wasn't funny?

jenboglass said...

Wah! Wah! My favorite is definitely the blue napkin. I once had a friend who had a stamp made up with her name and number. She took it to clubs and stamped the guys hands when she met them. Nice.

jenboglass said...

So, blogger totally ate my first comment. I commented that I hadn't read your post yet, but I couldn't read it until I commented on those awesome gold pants. Now, since I have read it and then went back to comment and then comment once more about how I commented I just look crazy.

kittyconcerto.com said...

Skin tight gold pants+80's loud sparkly ugly sweater+ugly shade of lipstick put on all wrong=A girl whose napkin would read "Total waste of face day"

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

When buying party supplies, there's one simple guideline that I've found to be helpful. I ask myself one question before I make that purchase.

As you'd probably suspect, none of those napkins made the "Would Mick Jagger buy this?" cut.

Although I head David Bowie sometimes shops from the Lillian Vernon catalog.

Kirsten said...

@ettarose-Good idea! I never thought about that! 'roids never get to laugh.

@jenn- I haven't even started with the t-shirts!

@jean knee-I'm glad you can appreciate a really good unfunny napkin!

@jenboglass-aka-crazy. I know! I didn't even comment on the awesome gold pants! Thanks for noticing!

@kitty-Those gold pants are worth the price of admission for sure!!

@doug-I already answered you! ; )

LuckyMe said...

YAY!! I hate Bunco, too!! Even though I've never gone. Isn't it just a lame excuse to show off your house and make other women envious? Of course what would they think of me sitting in front of my computer talking to strangers all day? DON'T ANSWER THAT!! rhetorical.

I have been given about 5 diffeent versions of those stupid napkins. They came from different people in gift baskets. I am sure there's really only one person actually buying them. The others were regifted to me.

So...how was the party?? ;-/ Obviously acquaintance doesn't know about the blog.

LuckyMe said...

PS. Priceless picture!

rusty said...

Wow, that is so New Hampshire, I would feel not at home, because I'm not from here, yup, we all must start tipping them back at that point, and I'm straight edge!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Yeah, like Cary said, someone actually got paid for writing that crapola.

lilaphase said...

hey, where did you find that picture of me in my favorite outfit?

MammaDawg said...

My fave is the waste of makeup - coz I'm pretty sure I've said that one myself a few times!

Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass said...

The best one was the designated drinker!

Napkins are ok, but if you are an adult and you still wear T-shirts with messages, well... well, there's another post idea for you, Mom!

Tina said...

lol those are great. i think i would like to use the designated drinker one!!!

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