If it's Good Enough for Winona Ryder...
I can't believe that summer is almost over already! This means that it's time for that yearly ritual of buying school supplies. As a kid, I remember having so much fun getting brand new stuff for a new year full of all kinds of possibilities. Now, I know that's a load! Booooring!! I guess it's because I'm not shopping for myself. If it's not for me, then who cares really?
Besides, school supplies cost money. I can't be going around buying pencils and shit when there are manicures and facials to be had. It takes a lot of money and time to look as good as I do. As you can tell by my picture, my skin is flawless, almost cartoon-like.
I figured out a solution to this little quandary of mine. Shoplifting!
Between the three of us, we should have been able to get enough stuff to last until college, or beauty school, or wherever.
We got into our local Wal-Mart and began our task at hand. My kids are rookies at this, so they might blow it for me. Don't ask me how I know this...
NEVER make your son wear a dress.
23 comments:
That sandwich board is very fetching.
Saw you are a fellow boxer.. if you were a sport.
Stealing at walmart should be on Oprah's 100 things to do before you die list
Hey, I fed your fish. Cool!
Seeing as you've just promoted Wal-Mart's back to school supplies on your blog, I think they should GIVE you free Wal-Mart back to school supplies for advertising their products!
If I'd not read this blog I'd never know I could get a great deal at Wal-Mart for back to school supplies.
(y'see how this could work here?) :)
Little tip for next year: Target doesn't have as many cameras than Wal-mart does. Don't ask me how I know this...like you, I don't wanna talk about it ;)
Shit. You gave up great advice and here I am with school supplies already purchased. BUT..I could always return them and then go back and steal them later. Hmm...
Amateurs, all of youse. Office Depot only has cameras and workers in the computer department. Help yourself to everything else.
lol ... that sandwich board wouldn't bother me and if it saves ya a few bucks, why not.
Being an avid Wally World shoplifter...errr, I mean shopper, I could have told you to head for the bike area of sporting goods...the cameras have a hard time getting a visual on you. Don't ask how I know, just trust me. *smile*
@everyone-Now you tell me all the tips and tricks! Where were you guys when I needed you!?
just so all youse moms know, I don't have kids and I have waaaay too much time on my hands therefore I can be bought with chocolate to help with your school supplies five finger discounts. it's this or I'm gonna have to list myself on craigslist, and that's just not right.
I once stole some chocolate from Safeway and got caught. I got the spanking of a lifetime.
That just made me realize I like to be spanked... ;o)
@ sandy-I'm working on the chocolate! I could use some help!
@bee- you see!? Shoplifting can be a good thing!
LOL - I think next year we're gonna hit Office Depot's with da old man ;)
I heard dat, Mamadawg!
Ah school supplies. I remember the good ol' days of writing my homework on used paper bags we got at a grocery stores and using maple syrup from the tree in the backyard for glue and coloring with kool-aid sticks.
@thefly-i know! Kids these days are so spoiled!
hey kirsten,
this blog is an anomoly: a suburban mommy blog that's actually funny.
rcok on,
aitch
Better yet... Next time, go to some po-dunk store. I started lifting Matilda Bay when I was 14. If you can get a 4 pack of wine coolers out, you could get a hell of a lot of school supplies out the door. This is a great idea. That's what I'm doing next year. Freakin supplies - I quit buying at $75...
Oh, did you bring back memories. I remember 20 years aog when me and my childhood buddy would ride up to the 7-11 on our bikes, wearing the old school baggy sweatpants, and shoving 10 to 15 packs of smokes down them when the cashier wasn't looking. then we were stupid enough to stand around for another half hour and play videos games.
I get so sick of wearing that damn sandwich board ...
I too am a career walmart lifter, I got caught last night with a camera. sucks. I can buy all this shit so why do I take it. I'm going crazy I'd like to stop. I've been doing this for so long. Any suggestions?
yup, you're right...! anyway, I love wynona...!!!
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