Humor Bloggers Carnival!!

The following post is a part of the humor carnival going on for humorbloggers.com.

So, please check them out. We are the most exculsive and important group of ANY KIND on the internet. Anyway, here is my submission to the Humor Carnival about growing up in the 1970's.

Growing up in the '70's and '80's was so much different from today. I was born a small child in 1969, yeah, that's right, the year of the cock. Look it up. I guess that means I grew up in the '70's.

I hate to sound like a crotchety old lady, (No offense, Joe!) but kids these days are wussies! When we were toddlers, we didn't have little covers for the electrical outlets in our homes. We learned the old fashioned way that sticking an, "Ernie & Burt" fork in the wall socket is counter productive. My kids aren't wusses. They know that Hannah Montana cutlery hurts just as much as Sesame Street cutlery. Lesson learned!

Another thing we didn't have then was latches on cabinets. We used to have complete access to all things poisonous and we liked it that way! Sure, cleaning products look all nice and refreshing, with all sorts of bright colors. But we weren't stupid enough to drink them. If you're stupid enough to drink a bottle of 409, then you're no great loss. It's called natural selection.

Remember the playgrounds we had back then? They're nothing like the cushy, pretty, bouncy ones with nice primary colors that they have now.

We had pieces of metal that stuck out of concrete in different shapes. Sometimes it would get rusty on the ends over time. We didn't care. We would do flips and hang upside down from ten or fifteen feet in the air with nothing but concrete to "cushion" our fall. And guess what?! We liked it that way! We didn't need some baby plastic equipment on squishy ground. Sharp edges? So! Swings that weren't attached to the ground, making the whole thing move with us when we swung? So!

Check that kid out. He doesn't care that he's swinging like a maniac and a fall to the hard ground is a sure broken arm.

And this thing! Who knows what it is, but we could make a good game out of it. Who cares if we need a tetanus shot afterwards.

In a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is that people who grew up when I did are better than everyone else. We're the best and that's the truth. Oh yeah! And before you try to call B*%$ S*&*% on me, it's too late. I already called no erasies!

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Bee said...

BWAHAHAHA! Yup! Bunch of pansies! Why, I used to play with a rusty beer can and I came out okay. I still twitch now and then but it's all good!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard. I love that big ball-shaped metal globe climbing apparatus. That would SO be removed from any playground nowadays in like 5 seconds. But we played on 'em. And we liked it! And that multi-colored play structure? Do you live by me? There's one exactly like it.... oh, I forgot, there are no unique playgrounds anymore. They all came from the same plastic factory.

Oh, didn't want to be a downer! So, did you have a tetherball set-up at your elementary school like me? That is the most lame-ass game ever. It is like the essence of "I am a loser. I have no friends. I am all by myself, so I'll go play TETHERBALL" The only thing worse than that is eating lunch in the library.

Adullamite said...

You talk about the seventies childhood like it was ancient times!
To me it was (apart from the worst decade of the century) hard work and no money.
Thanks for making me OLD!!!!

Kritta22 said...

Did we even have tetanus shots back then? I don't remember them if we did.

It's so true! Kids are wusses!
We had a swing set in our backyard that had concrete on the bottom to stick in the ground. But we swung too much or often and it came out. So when we would swing, the other one (my sister) would have to stand on the concrete to keep it in the ground.
We had a trampoline too. Without those stupid nets. You learned that if you got too close to the edge, it hurt. Like duh!!

PS did Nigeria ever call you back?

ReformingGeek said...

Hum, those photos are bringing back memories of the monkey bars at our playground at school. I don't think I was allowed on any of that stuff probably because I broke my leg on our swing set in the backyard. ;-)

I just posted my Growin' up 70's carnival entry on my site.

Kirsten said...

@bee-there's nothing wrong with twitching here and there. Who doesn't? :)

@texanmama-Wait a minute! Tetherball is for losers?! I thought I was so cool! :)

@adullamite-Did they have automobiles when you were growing up? :)

@kritta22-I think we had the same swing set you did!

@reforminggeek-I'm going over to check your post right now!

Tommy Buettner said...

I remember I gradeschool;s playground was covered with gravel...GRAVEL...fucking GRAVEL!!!
We would even go up to that playground on the weekends.

The other great game was dodgeball. We didn't have an official dodgeball, so the gym teacher would allow us to use basketballs and soccer balls from the gym, as long as we put it back.

Think about that, when we were kids, the gym teacher knew it was a "treat" for us boys and girls to play dodgeball!!!

Nowadays, poor bastard would lose his job if they allowed dodgeball on school grounds.

Heinous said...

Tetanus shot? You sissy. We used to tough out lockjaw. I'm a firm believer in Darwin too.

kev said...

Is dodgeball really not allowed in schools anymore? I can't say I'm surprised, but that's incredibly lame. Kids today are going to grow up, be slightly fussed at by their boss, and start weeping uncontrollably because they just can't handle it.

Of course, as someone who plans on being a boss someday, I look forward to it.

dani c said...

Hahaha too funny, but the truth,,,Metal...lol

dani c said...

You know...I'm feeling a lil jealous here... I have no link..:(

Da Old Man said...

Funniest line I've read all week, anywhere-- If you're stupid enough to drink a bottle of 409, then you're no great loss. It's called natural selection.

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Hey, my dad used to make me drink 409 to toughen me up.

But when he wanted to reward us kids, he'd let us eat all of the Flintstone vitamins that we wanted.

So who's the wuss now? Huh? HUH?

"Annie" said...

(laughing) Yes, we are better than everyone else. Ah! The memories...



Kirsten said...

@tommy-I forgot about dodgeball! Do they let kids play that anymore? Dodgeball deserves a whole post to itself!

@heinous-I was talking about "my friend" who needed a tetanus shot. Not me for sure! ;)

@kev-You will have so much fun with those wusses! They ALL get a trophy for just participating in sports.

@dani-I know you're not going to believe me, but I had you on my blogroll and I was having trouble with it. It says that it doesn't get a feed from you or something. I put it back up, but it doesn't work right.

@da old man-Thanks! I come up with some zingers occasionaly.

@doug at taunt-Okay, okay, you're pretty unwussy!!

@annie-I'm glad you agree! :)

Linda said...

Bwahahahahah! Natural selection. I LOVE it!

LuckyMe said...

Alright, what is your secret source for pictures? I know you're not going to google images. They are always priceless.

When we grew up, no bike helmets. When I first learned to ride a bike, I was afraid to turn so I ran straight into the wrought iron fence and 2 goose eggs blew up on my forehead. Try explaining that at school.

We played dodgeball and bottle caps barefoot in the middle of a city street. I always went to bed with black feet in the summer.

I wouldn't trade those days for video games, no way.

VE said...

Ha ha ha. Man I remember monkey bars over concrete and falling from the top of them. Talk about hard times!!! Good one...

Marvel Goose said...

how about riding in the back of the car with NO SEATBELTS! NO BOOSTER SEATS!

I can remember hanging my head out the back window the entire way from Jesup, GA to Sylacauga, AL holding some Kleenex® in my hand making believe it was superman with a cape. Air Conditioning? We didn't need no friggin' air conditioning!