Best of, Friday

Please to enjoy part two:

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to Practice

This whole soccer mom thing is very clique-y. I hate clique-y! Didn't we get over that in high school...okay college? Anyway, there's ALWAYS the alpha mom who's way too friggin' into her 7 year old's soccer career. Since I feel that this should be fun and not the most important thing in the world, she kinda makes me feel like a jackass for it. Whatever, at least I have a life. To top it off, she always has her hangers-on who kiss her ass like she's some kind of dope ass baller like me.

Needless to say, I'm not friends with these women. It's obvious they're jealous of my fabulosity. I'm better than they are and I scare them.

Fast forward to today...

I got all set up on the field with my Costco folding chair (you know, the colorful striped one) and water for myself of course. Well, guess who busts out her brand new pimp cup for my "water"? It's the Reverend Doctor Kirsten Valentine of course! (my "water" is really vodka-you don't expect a pimp to drink water out of her pimp cup!)
I looked so much doper than the rest of those mom jeans wearing dorks!

I OWN that elementary school field every other tuesday from 4 to 5:30pm, weather permitting. They were so jealous that they all moved their chairs away from me and wouldn't even make eye contact. They're so envious of me that they don't even let their kids play with my daughter, Devin.

I showed them!!! I brought out Devin's cute little "shorty" pimp cup too! She was so excited about it that she started to cry. As a parent, there is no greater reward than when you drive them to tears of joy!

I hate to break it to you, loyal readers, but you will have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happened next. I'm kind of going over everything with my lawyer tonight about just what I can and can't write about due to the impending lawsuit.

Oh yeah, and here's a video about the whole mom jeans thing. Click here, NOW!


Jenn Thorson said...

Making us wait? That's whack!

Chat Blanc (aka Sandy) said...

oh I hope you showed those beotches how you roll!

momjeansblogger said...

@jenn-I have to keep you interested! Besides it's a whole legal thing ! ;)

momjeansblogger said...

@ Sandy-You know it!

Spice said...

LOL I love it!!! Can't wait to see what happens next! Spice World

Da Old Man said...

Dem beotches be jealous, fo schizzle.

Clarisse Teagen said...

I thought those "grown ups" would have left their high school nonsense.... in high school ??

Alice said...

I avoid sports like the plague. I'm too lazy to cart my kids around to the various fields. But when it happens, I'm getting a pimp cump just like you!

Anonymous said...

nothing makes my day then the video of momjeans. can't wait to hear more about the bitchy saga!

Anonymous said...

LOL - that was friggin' hilarious!

Girl - no you didn't. Makin' us wait and all. ;)

Can't wait to hear what happened next!!

TheFLy said...

mommaJay you are pimp ass dope shit, that is crazy ass crazy funky fresh.

Its obvious they are jealous, why else wouldnt they make eye contact, haha.

buzz buzz

momjeansblogger said...

@spice-I hope you like it!

@old man-Sooooo jealous!

@clarisse-You would think. Luckily I'm far too mature for them.

@alice-You're smarter than i am

@kitty-glad you liked the video! I love it.

@mamadawg-hope you enjoy!

@the fly-They are so envious of me and all my greatness!

Aimie said...

Let us know how it plays out cuz I am trying that at our soccer field! I have 2 in soccer and feel like I live there with those snooty mama's. ARRGH! Loved the video of them though. I think that they must have filmed it out here at a PTA meeting or something. LOL :) Thanks for the laugh!