Let's Hear It for Strawberry Guy!

All right, kids! It's Caption This time again. Let's see what you can do with this...

Now go check out my friends' blog contests. Ettarose and nonamedufus


Sometimes Less is More

I love Americans! We always come up with the best ideas!


I Hate This Monday!

I'm in such a crabby mood this morning! Everything is pissing me off! Nothing can get me out of my blues this sh^%$!*y monday morning. Oh, wait a minute...

Thanks officer!!!


Nothin' But Winners Today!!

Thanks to everyone who participated in this week's contest! Please check out the comments to see ALL of the great entries. For now, here are some honorable mentions:

VABookworm87 with
While visiting a friend, Tom hoped to visit the county fair. Tom's friend was more than happy to loan him some "festive" clothes for the occasion. Unfortunately for Tom, who is totally blind, his friend has a sick sense of humor.
Bill's Bayou with
Coincidentally, Saint Joseph's elementary school no longer has it's annual "Bring Your Father To School" day.
Me-Me King with
Melvin embraces the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
Lola with
Mardi Gras at Bert's place. Bert, if I give you my beads, promise not to flash me your melons, k?

...Bert, let go of the bottom of that shirt now.

And the winner of the coveted Mom Likes Me Best Award is:

nonamedufus with
That melon diet can be tricky but I'm willing to try if I can just get my head around it.


Caption This!

I can't wait to see what you can come up with for this!


Thanks Trichup Oil!!


People of Wal-Mart

I don't have a lot to say today other than to let you in on my new favorite website. It's right up my alley! My cousin told me about it and now I'm addicted. It's called, People of Walmart. Enough said...


Mom Likes Me Best Award!

Thanks to everyone who captioned this lovely pic.

Honorable mentions include:

nonamedufus with
Jethro, their first born was such a turkey that Betty-Jo and Cleetus hoped to have better luck with their next child.
Blonde Goddess with
Glenn Roy was pleased to find that Becky Lee's daddy still included the dead turkey dowry even though it was a shot gun wedding.
Single&Married with
ummm...he is checking to see if she is done yet?
(he knows the turkey isnt, duh)
mooooog35 with
Linda decides to play it safe and include both potential fathers of her baby in the picture.
and one for my mom,
She's wearing white after Labor Day?!?!?

Now for the winner of the Mom Likes Me Best Award! She happens to be one of the coolest bloggers around, Quirkyloon with the very creative,
(Alanis Morrisette voice)

"I'm red-necked, and I'm laughin,
I'm dumb, but I'm knocked up.
I'm not sure it's his baby.

"And what it all boils down to,
Is that Bubba hasn't got it figured out just yet.
Cuz he's got one hand on my belly and the other one is holding a turkey leg!"
Thanks for playing everyone!


Caption This Turkey

I'm at a loss with this one. Where to start? Please help me with a good caption!


My Patrick Swayze Crush

I know it wasn't shocking news, but I was kind of taken aback when I found out that Patrick Swayze died yesterday. He was too young to die and my heart goes out to his family and friends.

I first decided that I had a crush on him when I saw the 1986 movie, "Youngblood". Now that I look at this picture, I wonder what I was thinking! That was a great movie, because it also had the totally cute Rob Lowe too. Try not to laugh at this awesome picture.

That's my fond memory of Patrick Swayze. RIP!


Kanye, Your Mom Must Be So Proud!

Today is a big day here at The Soccer Mom Files. It's the day that Billy Bob Thornton is officially dethroned as the biggest douchebag on Earth!! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest toolbox of the millenium, Kanye West.

UPDATE! This guy never stops!


Mom Likes Me Best Again!

Thanks to everyone who played along with the Mom Likes Me Best Caption Contest. Let us begin with some honorable mentions.

Bill's Bayou with
Look at that. Someone's gone a thrown away a perfectly good white boy.
nonamedufus with
When Bubba asked Sue to pick him up a Tall Boy at the supermarket she decided to get one for herself.
mooooog35 with
People in Kentucky just looooove their lawn ornaments.

Quirkyloon with
Number one survival tactic against the zombies: offer a sacrificial redneck.
ALL of the entries were great, but here is this week's winner:

Haley with
Thank you for joining us today at, "Bubba Land" and riding the, "Tooth Extractor" for your safety keep your arms and legs inside the basket at all times and keep seated until the ride comes to a complete stop...


I'm Sure Booze Was Involved

I have a feeling this isn't going to end well...


Is that Really a Children's Place Bag??

Let's get back to the fun that is, "Mom Likes Me Best Caption This Wednesday". Please work your magic with this.


Did you say, zeitgeist?

I've been gone for a while, but I'm slowly getting back in the swing of things today. I left in order to make a bold statement that only Bill, from Bill's Bayou seemed to get. Do I have to spell it out for you people!? I'll let Bill explain...
I find the emptiness of the post to be a comment on the gestalt of man's duality in cyberspace. Note how the lack of form and movement mirrors our on vacuous zeitgeist.
Duh! Thanks for understanding, Bill. Let that be a lesson for all of us.