I was on edge all day today. I don't know if it's the whole 9-11 thing or if it was some sort of premonition of things to come in my household. It was just a bad day all around.
To top it all off, I get to soccer practice and one of the complainer moms comes up to me and bitch has the balls to change snack duties with me! I am already mentally prepared to do snack on Saturday, November 8th at 2pm. Of course I can't just move it back a week! Does she want to pay for my extra day in therapy? She said, "no", so I was about to throw down! Know this! I guess I scared her, because she dropped out of her cock-a-mamey trip to Ethiopia to help build some school for kids. What the hell kind of carpenter skills does she have anyway? What the hell is she gonna build? Please!
We get home and have dinner, wind down, put the kids to bed and I go upstairs with a glass of wine. My husband goes to his office to get some work done. I'm finally relaxed when I hear a muffled scream and what sounds like a scuffle. (yes, I said scuffle)
OMG! Someone is attacking my husband! I don't know what to do! I need a weapon. I find a heavy flashlight. It was the best I could do. Look! I'm not MacGyver, okay?!
Sorry, wrong MacGyver...
I look in the dark, down the stairs and I see a figure running frantically with such purpose up the stairs! What to do!?!?!
Without thinking I hit the intruder over the head with this heavy flashlight. He goes down fast. Panic! I don't hear anything from downstairs. What happened to my husband?
I turn on the light and the shadowy figure is...is...
My husband!!!! What is going on?! Please wake up!! Please tell me you're okay! Please tell me you love me! All he said before passing out again was...
"ABE.....VIGODA"
17 comments:
You are crackin' me up, you are so crazy.
"Sorry - wrong MacGyver." LMAO
Though not quite as funny as when you found out who the intruder was. ;)
Your husband needs a different type of mouth to mouth ressusetation, Im sure of it. It will bring him into consciousness quicker than you can say, Abe Vigoda, haha.
wrong MacGyver?
WRONG MACGYVER???
Try "WRONG BJ"
Wrong head....wrong type of blow!!!
I will now e-mail my Catholic Aunt and ask that they put your husband on their prayer chain.
@mamadawg-Thanks! I glad my life is so funny for you. : )
@athena-I know! Everyone is so self involved these days!
@thefly-I get it now!!
@tommy-You guys all stick together, don't you!
I so totally, completely love you right now.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
B-a-r-n-y-M-i-l-l-e-r...! What does that get?
Your husband is a wise man and further proves the fact that no matter what is going on, intruders, grocery shopping or impending nuclear war, ALL guys are ALWAYS thinking about one thing.
"Abe Vigoda."
hahaha! Are you sure you didn't just clock your husband so you wouldn't have to pay up on the Abe Vigoda promise?? ;)
Poor kids, vodka, MacGyver, and shadowy figures..... Scary AND Hilarious!
Rofl, Macgyver Rulez :)
Nuclear bomb from a box of matches - who would want more?
I told the wife about your "Abe Vogoda" idea. I suggested we have a secret word. She said the only thing I could say is "We won the lottery. Let's go collect our millions."
Awesome!!! LOL!!!!!!!!! I guess he got excited about the Abe Vigoda?!?!? I guess instead of the b.j. he got knocked the F*ck out! LMAO!
Its Saturday. Go USC!!!
So when I came to did you ask him how he had enjoyed his present?
FISH!
Sorry.
@honeybell-I love myself right now too! JK! Thanks for the comment!!
@don-Nice try! It might get you a knock over the head with a flashlight!
@sensei-Truer words were never said. No wonder you are called sensei!
@chat blanc-Shhh! You can't be giving up girl secrets in a public forum like this!! You're breaking the code!
@kittyconcerto-Luckily the kids were at their grandparent's house!
@bingolady-MacGyver needs a little love every once in a while!
@da old man-She's a smart woman!
@happy working mommy-Sometimes things don't always work out as expected!
@thefly-Damn straight! Did they deliver or what?!?!?!
@heldon-Unfortunately he's having trouble understanding who he is. He thinks he's Shelly Winters.
@ricardipus-I forgot that was his name! Duh!
This will not succeed in reality, that is what I think.
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