Thank you to everyone who sent their well wishes! It worked and we made it to Maryland in four whole pieces.
I'm not sure how the plane trip went exactly. I did the responsible thing and decided to self medicate with a little bloody mary or two to start off with. I panicked when we hit some turbulence, tried to ignore it by picking up the Sky Mall magazine, got confused and I'm not sure, but I think I might now own a 16th Century Italian Replica Globe, an aquarium coffee table, a Mount Rushmore garden statue, a solar powered mole repeller, a Don Knotts signed photograph, a giant tv remote and some pillow, nap thingy. (photo below) As you can tell by the sheer amount of items, my fugue state lasted a while.
Since I don't have a mole problem, I'm pretty sure I bought the mole repeller because I thought the picture was funny. You be the judge.
Remember kids! Alcohol and Sky Mall DO NOT mix. I never knew there we so many non-existent problems that needed addressing!
at 8:48 AM