Merry Christmas to all! May the spirit of the season be with everyone!
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I thought Red Bull was supposed to give you wings?Jeremy from We Took the Bait with
I guess not so much when you drink it in too many Jager Bombs.
Motor vehicle accidents account for over 5000 fatalities among college students each year.Mooooog35 with
Attempting to navigate stairs after multiple rounds of beer pong claims one victim each year.
This is Tyler....
Jimmy always let people walk all over him.Bill's Bayou with
On the "Ladder of Success", Timmy only made it as high as "Drug Trial Participant."and, I'm going to hell for this one...
Six more grandchildren and Maw Maw will have the wheelchair ramp she needs.Anonymous with
This week's winner is Ed Adams with the simple, yet hilarious:Sean entered a six step program but sadly only made it to the second step.
Who moved the fucking caution cone again?!?!
"And this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee, all the way home"Bill's Bayou with
"Gays Know Fashion"and
Another stereotype smashed.
Tbis week's winner is the always funny mooooog35 withAfter losing the last Pikachu doll, David anchors them on the outside with pink fur-lined handcuffs.
Investigators could not decide which was worse: The kidnapping of Pikachu itself, or the ransom photo they received.
Linda thought something completely different when Ed told her that 'dessert was on him.'Funnyrunner with
Sadly, Bob's experiment with bird poop as a salve went terribly awry...Mrsblogsalot with
I swear the real banana's here someplaceLola with
Fred wanted to make himself more a'peelin' to his wife so he decided to make himself a banana split. (Don't ask where the cherry and nuts are.)nonamedufus with
Hector wasn't sure, but he was beginning to think the tip he left the waitress might not have been big enough.Nooter with
moooooog35 submits his application and photo, hoping to become the new president of the bananarama fan club
If covering yourself with cream cheese and banana chips after shaving your head while sitting in flip flops is wrong, I don't wanna be right.And the winner of the Mom Likes Me Best Award this week is FreakSmack with
"Thanks to the new bananna and yogurt shingles treatment by RONCO, I no longer have to be a shut in, for fear of being embarrased by my unsightly sores and blisters. THANKS RONCO!".
..and many years later as she gave yet another motivational speech, William would wait until the time was right, just right, to exact his revenge on an unsuspecting Goldilocks.Nooter with
patty the polar bear waited for the chance to show off her 'baby harp seal squares' at the thirty-second annual lady-quilters auxiliary convention and brunch in nome alaskanonamedufus with
Betty had obviously made a mistake. Instead of the women's workshop on Global Warming, she'd mistakenly stumbled upon the forum on Hot Flashes.And I had to give it to Bill's Bayou again for
The vote to legalize eating baby seals was defeated with only one vote in favor of the measure.
Even though the crafty prostitute left Dave simmering in a dirty hotel bathroom soaking in ice without a kidney or liver or some other important internal organ, he was bound and determined to attend the tailgate party.
The line outside Walmart's first 'job fair.'and
Once again, more evidence as to why the North won the war.
Thats the last time I let Roger put "his stuff" in my cooler.
Ok. Who took a Schlitz in my ice chest?
Kirsten couldn't put her finger on it, but something made her feel that she was adopted.and
Yes, I did get a bad batch of Viagra once. Why do you ask.The Old Silly with
Behind his cheesy smile, Mr. Flannigan bemoaned the harsh reality that half of these kids were not his. But her family has money, so what the hell if she diddles the butler?Nooter with
"dress up in your halloween costume" his brothers said. "we'll all do it for the family portrait" they said.Travelbug Mom with
a young ashton kutcher vowed that day to never get punk'd again.
"ya know Dick, if you would just get me a bigger washing machine maybe I'd be able to have everything clean in time!"....but we all thank you for bringing home the vodka!nonamedufus almost won with
Even at an early age, Tina Yothers' parents knew she was going to be a handful, despite her family ties.After all, making fun of Tina Yothers never gets old.
After his parents believed that they could re-create the Von Trapp family, Axl Rose had a different perspective on the "Sound of Music".Making fun of Axl doesn't get old either.
"X" marks the spot!But then Lola really made me laugh with
"X" doesn't mark the spot.Some more good ones include:
Billy Ray then yelled to Bubba, "Lookie here boy - standing next to mah sisters a makin mah south rise agin!Me-Me King with
Look away, Look awayStaci with
Look away, Dixieland.
In an effort to impress Bubba, who swore that the South would one day rise again, Bobbie Jean cut up a Dixie flag, tied it to her body, and watched proudly as it rose down south. It wasn't until after she posed for the picture did Bubba finally explain that the south he was talking about was not the one below her navel.Bill's Bayou had some great ones, including:
Bubba Joe went to match.com and got what he wanted after entering "Racist Mufffin Top Camel Toe FUPA"and
Winner of the 2009 "Miss Wish I Was Blind In Tennessee" competitionand
The last thing Bill remembers is Kirsten asking "Does this outfit make my butt look big?"and
Sadly, Bubba's catch was well over the size limit and he had to throw it back.and
Laugh if you must, but I wonder how many of you women would look this good after giving birth to 14 of your cousin's kids.
and Nooter withKirsten is tempting me. Must not mention Kirsten's name with respect to this photo. Put down the coffee and step away from the keyboard. Kirsten's payback is a bitch. Do not think "Kirsten" when looking at cellulite.
clearly this is not kirsten and she is not standing with her cousin/fiance and that is not her wedding dress and this was not the happiest day of her life.
kirstens prom photoand
Not to be outdone by Octo-Mom, Kirsten (now only 6 weeks pregnant) shows off how she got a doctor to insert 27 fertilized eggs into her uterus.All I have to say is that payback is a bitch, gentlemen!!
Marlene was thrown into a jealous rage when she came home fromLola with
"Frank's Gun and Golf Emporium" to find her husband with Sparky, a male prostitute with a love for cut-offs, and wristbands. Marlene did what any God fearing, gun toting, mother to be would do and emptied a clip into Sparky's Mitsubishi Eclipse. I think it's safe to say Marlene's mood swing was justified.
Back stage at the Maury Povich show, Jolene confronts her baby daddy.Jeremy from We Took the Bait with
Buford and Bubba are so relieved they dodged a bullet.
Give the pallet of Huggies to the guy in the Daisy Duke shorts, and nobody gets hurt....Mooog had two good ones this week:
Inside the annual WalMart job fair.and
Those were great, but the winner this time is Cat Lady Larew withProof positive that guys will fuck just about anything
.
Register now for our parenting classes. Satisfaction guaranteed or you ammo back.
moooooog35 seduces his first wife, the treehugger
Julie was depressed when she discovered, upon reaching the end of the rainbow, that the leprechaun was at lunch and had left creepy Earl the copy guy to cover for him.
One of my favorites, Reforming Geek, who roasted me one day on her blog. I haven't forgotten and am planning my revenge. Watch out, geek!...with...Um, my Engrish not so good. I know I said "wood" but I only meant..er....trees and stuff.Ed Adams with
Pornography for nudists. Clothed models.nonamedufus with
After about a half hour into the session, Brian's aperture was beginning to expand.Bill's Bayou with
In low light, he drops his drawers and becomes a tripod.The winner of last week's Mom Likes Me Best Award is:
Taking a nude photography course, Bill misunderstood the nature of the assignment.
Lawrence wasn't getting enough beatings in high school so he came up with this idea for his senior picture.and
It's not the size of your column. It's how you use it.Cat Lady Larew with
Nicholas poses for the cover of his new magazine, Ass Nick and Old LaceP.L. Frederick with
“Make-up is one way to successfully hide a zit. Here's another.”Mike WJ at too Many Mornings with
Stephen chose a highly unorthodox way to announce his sexual orientation to his mother and father.Nooter with
moooooog35's high school yearbook photoand Lola with
(hee hee!)
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and gay!
Somewhere, out there, a father cries uncontrollably.