What the Hell Kind of Name is Rulon Anyway?

Since I know that all of you look up to me, I will share with you today the book I am currently reading. It is called, "Under the Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakauer. I love non-fiction and he has written a couple of other books that I really enjoyed. It is about those nutty fundamentalist mormons (FLDS); not to be confused with the traditional Mormon religion. These are the ones that the women have the Elvis hairdos and the Little House on the Prairie dresses. Here are some, "sister wives":

The book gives an interesting history of the Mormon faith of which I knew little before. It then describes how these fundamentalists broke off from the traditional church and created their own communities, so they could practice plural marriage and a bunch of other bullshit crap. (was that out loud?)

Their current "prophet" is named Warren Jeffs and doesn't he look good in blue? He's in jail for child rape. Great prophet ya got there. 

His father, Rulon Jeffs, was the prophet before. Here he is with two of his nineteen wives. He also fathered sixty children. 

Those girls are children! It's disgusting! I know what you're thinking, "How could he make those girls wear those awful outfits?!" 

I'm not down with these fundamentalists, but they're not ALL bad. There are a few things that I can turn a blind eye to like:

1. The whole multiple wives thing. (I would be the fave sister wife and could boss the other girls around-Not bad!)

2. Children being forced to marry some old man, usually an uncle or something like that. 

3. These girls have to procreate over and over and over again.

4. "Total submission" to all men, no matter what. 

5. Having sexual relations with someone of the "African Race" is punishable by death. Number four is punishable by death too, by the way.

6."The Lost Boys"-I don't feel like explaining it now for those of you who don't know who they are. Just trust me, it's a bad thing.

Those things aren't bad, but the clothing and hair are unacceptable! Mrs. Ingalls dresses and '80's Aquanet hair cannot continue! They can only wear pastels and not many of us can get away with pastels without getting washed out. They also can't wear make-up. Something must be done.

I'm also willing to bet than none of those women have a decent bikini wax. It's absolutely disgusting!