8/28/2008

Nice Wine Rack!

I thought up a genius invention the other day and it seems that someone else already manufactured it. They stole my idea before I thought of it! DISAPPOINTED! I thought I was going to be the Donald Trump of alcoholics everywhere. (only with slightly better hair)

Here's the deal:
At least in the US, there are are so many places where it would be perfectly appropriate to serve booze, yet they don't. Movie theaters, for example, while I have to sit through the Hannah Montana movie for the second time in a row. It should be mandatory in this circumstance. However, the AMC rent-a-cops don't see it that way. Don't ask how I know this, I just do. Also at sports arenas, amusement parks, day care centers, church camps, while carpooling, and the list just goes on and on. It almost makes me feel ashamed to drink in these venues. 

Just kidding! Not really.

Why do we live in such a strict police state? Alcoholics are persecuted in "the land of the free". We are not allowed to openly practice our lifestyle choice. I'll bet there are people in North Korea getting loaded while doing Tai Chi or some shit like that. I'm sure there are even people in Iran enjoying a beer or two while pretending not to make nuclear weapons. And don't start with me about the Russians. They start their kids on vodka in kindergarten. I'm pretty sure I read that one time on Wikipedia. Europeans even get to order beer at their MacDonald's!! That brings a new meaning to the happy meal! Bastards! 

Sorry for the diatribe! I guess I had a little venting to do.

Anyway, since alcoholics in the US are totally oppressed, we have to be creative in our clandestine drinking. So, this is MY great idea!

Ladies and gentlemen! I give you, "The Wine Rack".


Pure genius! Big boobs and tons of booze. Everyone wins in this situation! Why didn't I think of it sooner?

18 comments:

dani c said...

I'll take a lot of both please. I defly need boobs and the more that I think about it, my buzz is wearing off...So I'm defly gonna need more booze too..Yup, I can see how the two interact with one another....

TheFLy said...

There's also one for guys thats called the beer belly. But Im gonna have to say that the wine rack is much more pleasing to the eye, haha. Only as long as I can drink out of your wine rack mommaJay and then Im cool with it, haha.

buzz buzz

Crazy Mom of 3 said...

I saw this and thought about your delima:

http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/3432

Take that polite society!
Thanks for the link!

shyloh said...

Booze does come in handy at times ha.
Thank you for stopping by. Have a great day!

Jenn Thorson said...

I just hope we never have to see OxyClean's Billy Mays advertise this-- or demonstrate it. :)

I somehow don't think it would be as effective in a man-boobs situation, though.

Chat Blanc said...

filled with alcohol you'd never get a man's mind (and other things) off a woman's rack! ;)

Athena said...

I NEED THIS!! I've already got the cellphone flask and a "coke" beer can cover...anything to perfect the art of "stealth drinking"!

Jeff said...

I too had to sit through Hannah Montana twice. I feel your pain!

Kirsten said...

@dani-It's a win/win for sure!

@thefly-Yeah, the beer belly is not a good look. But, the good thing is that you get thinner as you drink!

@crazy mom-I went on there, but it said the file wasn't available or something like that. I want to know what it was!

@shyloh-I hear ya!

@jenn-LOL! Billy Mays would be awesome!!!

@chat blanc-It would make you pretty popular, huh?

@athena-I don't have a "coke" can cover. I need this!

@jeff-Yes! I think we are not alone in this bad memory!

Nick said...

Interesting product. Very useful. I actually invented the "Beer Belly" that thefly speaks of. Unfortunately a guy overheard me talking about it at a Baja Fresh restaurant in 2004 and beat me to the punch.

Chris Wood said...

That is a fantastic idea! The local nitwits at my cinema don't like you taking beer in either. But! They do give it back to you after the film, and even keep it in the fridge!

I suppose that lets them off in some small way ...

Kirsten said...

@nick-I'll bet it was the same guy who stole my idea! I have to learn to keep my mouth shut.

@that's pretty "cool" of them. Sorry for the pun!

Crazy Mom of 3 said...

Crap, dont know what's up, It was a site that had fake golf clubs, cell phones, stadium seat cushions and various other objects for concealing your "mommy juice". Dammit, sorry.

Don said...

GAG! I just saw your pic post of 8/26...makes me long for the fatherland!

Bee said...

Ha! I have one!!! I do I really do!! Lucky for me (and Andy) my boobies are naturally voluptuous so nobody is ever suspicious... makes dealing with m in-laws HEAVAN!

kittyconcerto.com said...

Oooh! Oooh! I want one!!!

Shelley said...

Wow, and here I thought I was the only one into stealth drinking. I think I've found my people. Did you know that a nice mixture of rum and cranberry juice and a little pineapple juice can look an awful lot like red Powerade? Especially if it's in a Powerade bottle? Or so I've heard.

Stephanie M said...

Kirsten, I have considered OUR dilemma (you're not alone) and I think I'm asking Santa for a Xanax prescription for Christmas this year. Discreet, and you can still drive.