Being the exceptional mother that I am, I took my little darlings to the beach today. I had them pack a nice lunch for us to enjoy as we take in the sun and savor the last few days of summer. I checked and had no court dates or drug tests today, so why not?
It's crazy how much stuff you need to pack just for a few hours at the beach. Between the picnic basket, towels, umbrella, beach chairs, sand toys, sunscreen, bottle of vodka concealed in my "binocular" flask, magazines, etc, etc....it must have taken the kids at least an hour to pack everything. I'm not sure exactly how long it took as I was busy getting my hair right.
Well, we finally got out there and found the perfect spot to set up camp. It must have taken the kids about 20 minutes to get us all set up and who do I see right behind us? My probation officer from ten years ago, Steve. Great!! He's gonna see me with the kids and think it's a kidnapping. He never trusted me.
I figured he wouldn't recognize me as I regularly change my appearance for instances just like this. Anyway, he gets up and walks towards us. I don't move an inch as if I'm some sort of possum playing dead, hoping this predator will not see me. Luckily, he went past us and got in the water. Phew!!
I continue reading my mag as my son continues fanning me. All of a sudden we hear this blood curdling scream. It's Steve! He's drowning or something. There are no lifeguards here! What to do?
This post is already too long for the attention span of my readers. I will have to tell you the rest of the story tomorrow.