Being the exceptional mother that I am, I took my little darlings to the beach today. I had them pack a nice lunch for us to enjoy as we take in the sun and savor the last few days of summer. I checked and had no court dates or drug tests today, so why not?
It's crazy how much stuff you need to pack just for a few hours at the beach. Between the picnic basket, towels, umbrella, beach chairs, sand toys, sunscreen, bottle of vodka concealed in my "binocular" flask, magazines, etc, etc....it must have taken the kids at least an hour to pack everything. I'm not sure exactly how long it took as I was busy getting my hair right.
Well, we finally got out there and found the perfect spot to set up camp. It must have taken the kids about 20 minutes to get us all set up and who do I see right behind us? My probation officer from ten years ago, Steve. Great!! He's gonna see me with the kids and think it's a kidnapping. He never trusted me.
I figured he wouldn't recognize me as I regularly change my appearance for instances just like this. Anyway, he gets up and walks towards us. I don't move an inch as if I'm some sort of possum playing dead, hoping this predator will not see me. Luckily, he went past us and got in the water. Phew!!
I continue reading my mag as my son continues fanning me. All of a sudden we hear this blood curdling scream. It's Steve! He's drowning or something. There are no lifeguards here! What to do?
This post is already too long for the attention span of my readers. I will have to tell you the rest of the story tomorrow.
20 comments:
LMAO!!! It takes my kids forever to pack the car for the beach too! What's up with that? lol
BTW, I noticed "Galipoli" as a fave movie. I thought I was the only non-Aussie to know about / lust after Mel in that movie! Now there are two of us.
@leigh anne- I know! Mel is sooooo good looking in that movie! I mention that movie here and no one knows what I'm talking about!
I'm glad to know that it's not just my kids that take forever to pack.
okay, you've convinced me, I need me a kid or two; to do menial labor and get my vodka. what age can they start doing that? like 2? I'm sure I can adopt for this kinda thing, right? you're the bestest! :)
I drag my two rays of sunshine to the beach pretty often. However, I've streamlined it down to sunblock, towel, cheetos, and kool-aid pouches.
THAT'S IT!!!
My kids learned very early how to a) make coffee, (I'm talking the water to coffee ratio not just turning it on) and b) how to pour mom's cup just right (two cream, one sugar) at a very early age. Sunday mornings at my house are grrr-eat like that. There's nothing like getting my coffee served to me and I don't even have to get out of bed. The kids were way easier to train than the ex-husband ;)
Hahahaha I guess I need to have another kid to reduce the prep time around my house...one just aint cutting it.
Mom, is that you?
I'm lucky, my PO is my dealer so I’s got the hook up. He also knows how to swim.
haha, Im gonna go ahead a write the rest of the story.
He drowned.
buzz buzz
@chat blanc-As soon as they can walk, I say put 'em to work!
@You are a little more organized than I!
@leigh anne-You are my hero!!
@athena-You wouldn't believe how much help just one more makes! Definitely a reason to have another.
@crazy mom-Yes, it is me, now stop following me.
@bee-You have it good! I knew you were a smart woman!
@thefly-Yeah, pretty much!
My kid never helped out. When I told her other kids like to help their dads, she said, "Looks like you should get another kid, then."
@ da old man-I think that's grounds for child abuse!
you left us with a cliff hanger with someone almost drowning?!?! Evil MomJeans...... lol.
@kitty-You know I'm evil!! ; )
Nice to see that I'm not the only one that has given birth to her slaves...lol..they gotta be good for something right?
@dani-Yeah! What else are they for?
Oh sweet jesus, yes! Binocular flask! Rickey is to buying that and using it for the next baseball game he goes to. Cheers!
hey kirsten,
you've finally given me a reason why kids may be better than dogs...tough to teach a terrier to fan you.
rock on,
aitch
@rickey-It's the best investment you will ever make!
@harris-You can teach kids soooo much more than a terrier. You can break their spirits much easier!
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