Most of you don't understand the reality tv genre as I do. I know this is embarrassing for you, but it's okay. Please let me educate you on the origins of this indelible part of American culture. Oh yeah! I forgot it's a scourge on our civilization. I only watch it to feel better about myself.
Many people don't understand that they had reality tv hundereds of years ago in England. Let me take you back. (Imagine everything getting blurry and fuzzy as we go back.)
Meet the world's first reality star! He is looking for love. His name is Henry and he hails from England. He wants to find that special girl with which to share in his extravagant lifestyle. He enjoys jousting, fox hunting, hawking, platform tennis and beheadings. He would like a nice Catholic girl to be his queen.
He thinks he came directly from God, but what reality star doesn't to be honest. Here he is at leisure at his Hampton Crib. (Official publicity still)
He doesn't always like to be so formal. He is often seen hanging out in sweats and his favorite t-shirt that has a picture of Shakespeare on it and says, "Prose Before Hos". Here he is at a more casual moment.
You will have to keep tuned in to see what kind of ladies vie for Henry's affections!