That said, I had a mysterious bump behind my ear. I didn't think much of it until I realized it wasn't going away. Thanks to Wikipedia and WebMD (I got two opinions) I discovered that I had terminal melanoma!
Obviously I can't drive with a melanoma and my husband has to stay by the bathroom as he has a slight case of Cholera, so I have no way to get to the emergency room! I have no choice but to call 911 and wait for the ambulance.
UPDATE:It turns out that I should have gotten a third opinion. The city of Huntington Beach now has a suit against me for calling 911 for a zit.