12/11/2008

Secret Santa Can Suck It!

Bee, over at the aptly titled Bee's Musings has created a "Secret Santa Can Suck It" gift exchange where we give a virtual gift to another blogger. She has given us all our victims and today is the day to exchange insults good wishes.

I was lucky and got one of the best bloggers out there. I got the Crotchety Old Man. I really wanted to get him something that he would enjoy. Using what limited personal knowledge of him that I have, I racked my brain for hours. What to give him!

I know that he likes the movie, "A Christmas Story", so the obvious choice for him would be the popular action figures from said movie.




Or maybe the Monopoly version of the movie...



However, I assume that he already has these items, so I decided to go with something else.

I know that Crotchety has an unexplainable thing for Martha Stewart. I also know for a fact that he even tried stalking her for a while. That didn't really work out since she has a very busy schedule and it was just too exhausting to follow her around everywhere. Here is an article on Crotchety explaining that whole part of his life. Crotchety has been known to go by the alias, "Richard Kowalcyk".

I did some digging around and found a rare pin-up poster of Martha from her early days. I even hunted her down and had her sign it for him. Merry Christmas, Crotchety!!



23 comments:

unfortunate names said...

I love it! You know they sell a working version of the leg lamp from the movie too!

Da Old Man said...

Thank you, Kirsten. This is the best gift ever.
BTW, what do you mean unexplainable? Martha Stewart is hawt. And she bakes cookies.

Merry Christmas. :)

The Hawg! said...

Heh. That's about perfect. How did you know of Crotchety's secret obsession with Martha Stewart?

VE said...

Careful crotchety...she's got a record you know...

Some Guy said...

I'd forgive Martha of all her past transgressions if she'd wear that on her show just once.

Orion said...

I would say Martha is one fantastik gift...

but i just can't do it. Joe! Crotch! Old Man!! Wipe the toast crumbs outta your eyes and see that she's an evil being... (just ask DEB)

but I guess it is the spirit of not? giving that counts...

just bob said...

Martha was hot.

*Just Jen* said...

What a great gift! I had to read the story behind Richard Kowalczyk, my uncle Dick's name is Richard Kowalczyk; rest his soul. Kind of creeped me out at first! LOL

Eudea-Mamia said...

A blogger buddy (Shannon at Welcome to the Nut House) of mine showed me the way to this little beauty...

http://tinyurl.com/6ffbfp

(It's a blow up decoration of the Leg Lamp if you're afraid to click on it - I totally understand!)

Now that is awesome.

And I bet Martha learned a trick or two while in the joint. Just saying.

AngieSS said...

Great gift! I think she's gonna rock Crotchety's world for sure. And I do remember him sayin' once that he sure likes them bad girls.

ReformingGeek said...

That's a great gift for Crotchety! I wonder if I could rent her out by the hour to finish my holiday baking.

Kirsten said...

OMG! I wasn't prepared for the pic, if I had know that was coming I wouldn't have taken a swig of coffee.

Great gift!

I sorta have a girl crush on Martha, so I'm jealous Crotchety.

Miss Grace said...

I've just been LOVING everyone's posts on this!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Awesome, you totally nailed it girl!

eve cleveland said...

Martha looks fabulous! Can I get the name of her surgeon? Please?
Eve

Bee said...

I had never thought of Martha in an impure manner. Now I must dig my eyeballs out and soak them in bleach.

I love a christmas story too.

NotJustAMom said...

I love the action figures!

Marvel Goose said...

If she wore that outfit while making the vicchyssoise for tonight's sit down for 20, I would recommend that you run the soup through the stainer before serving. Your guests will appreciate your thoughtfulness when you tell them that the soup was properly de-pubed.

The Hussy Housewife said...

Great gift! I am sure he will copy and paste that on to his desktop!

mammadawg.com said...

LOL - that was hilarious!!

And you just reminded me - I've been wanting to get the lamp for my husband for years!

ettarose said...

Kirsten I am so sorry to have missed you yesterday. I know I was here at least three times. Great present for Da old man. I think Martha would be hot, if her face was on fire. But that's just me.

Jenn Thorson said...

You might give Crotchety a heart attack. But GOSH, he'll go out happy! He does loves his Martha!

Quirkyloon said...

What great gifts! I love "A Christmas Story" movie! It's one of my favorte movies.

You did a fantastic job of bestowing gifts upon Crotchety!

And I'm no Martha fan, but she does look pretty hawt!

Funny!