Hey All You Dicks!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU GREAT DADS OUT THERE!!!!

Winner!! Winner!!

We had so many entries for the caption this contest this week! Thanks to all of you funny mother fu#@%$ers for participating!

Honorable mention this week goes to:

Chris with

Shondra did her best to smuggle in the entire bridal party, but three bridesmaids managed to slip free.

mooog35 with

Unfortunately for several wedding guests, her decision to wear such a large dress would later prove fatal during the Chicken Dance.

Bill's Bayou with

Having not learned her lesson with the blueberry pie incident, Violet Beauregarde next tries Willy Wonka's "Wedding Buffet" gum

and

The good news: Sheer fabric is on sale. The bad news: Sheer fabric is on sale.

Stephanie B with

Inflate-a-bride seemed like a surefire success, but the brightly colored accessories were the dealbreaker.

And the winner is the simple, yet funny...

Me-Me King with

Anyone seen the ring bearers?

Was You Brain Damaged BEFORE or AFTER You Swallowed the Batteries?

My school of thinking is that if you're swallowing batteries, then you're mind is already damaged.

Mom Likes Me Best Award!

Caption this for great prizes!

Hell Just Froze Over

OMG!!!

I can't believe it! Look to the right and notice that I beat Crotchety in the trivia challenge. Finally! He always beats me.

I don't mean to trash talk, but I took the test for today and got all 10 right! I dare anyone to try to beat my time! You especially Old Man!

Who Does Mom Like Best This Week?

It's award time again over here, so put on your helmet and let's get going.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Reforming Geek with

"OK class, after only a few weeks of training, you will be able to paint authentic skeletons just like this one."

mooooog35 with

Great...now I want ribs.

Quirky Loon with

"Oh think twice, it's just another day in skinny bitch paradise."

Haley with

Photo shoot for the new, "Recessions" Calendar.

PhilipDyer with

Her body was in remarkably good condition considering she'd been interred for over a year.

nonamedufus with

Now smile and waif at the camera.

Funnyrunner with

Can a girl get a fucking hamburger around here? Huh?

and Chris with

When we said her talents are one-dimensional, we were being literal.

This winner made me laugh out loud!

Bill's Bayou with

I'd inflate her, but I'm afraid to find out where the valve is.

Thanks for playing, funny people!

I'm Not an Angry Person

OPEN LETTER TO ANNOYING KNOW-IT-ALLS

Why? If you already know everything, then kill yourself. There's nothing left for you to learn or experience in your life, so what's the point in going on? Let the rest of us be ignorant and happy.

That's another thing! Why do you automatically think that the rest of us are stupid and have had no life experience? If I wanted you to teach me about something I would sign up for your class. Until then, shut it!

Thanks for letting me vent! If any of you try to correct my spelling/grammar or try to tell me how smart you are, I will barf all over my keyboard from your annoyingness. This is a promise!

Was that out loud?

PS-If you don't know any of these people, this means that you ARE one and should just fall off a cliff.