Caption This Contest

It's Caption This time!

All Work and No Play Makes Mom a Dull Girl

I can't seem to think of anything to write. I was hoping that something would come to me sometime throughout the day.

I took a shower.

Still no ideas. I got the kids up and gave them breakfast.

Still nothing. I took the kids to school.

Still nada. I even took the time to foil wrap my car.

Nothing. Sorry guys! I'm tapped out today!

Winners, Please!

Now for the winner of the Mom Likes Me Best Award! Whoo! Whoo!

Honorable mentions:

Haley with

Ron Jeremy on the set of his new movie - "Montezuma Delivers"

Nooter with

elton john called, he wants his hat back

Marissa with

So now we know who took Beyonce's missing earring.

moooog35 with

Police chased the suspect in the theft of the Aztec artifacts to the local soccer stadium but sadly lost him in the crowd.

And the winner is.....

The Mother with

As predicted by the ancients, Monteczuma has returned. He immediately joined the Mexico City soccer team, but was unhappy to discover that the sport is now played with balls, instead of the heads of vanquished enemies.

Congrats Mother!! Have a great Mother's Day weekend!

Caption This, Seis de Mayo Edition

It's that time of the week again! Will you be the lucky winner of the Mom Likes Me Best Award and 1000 Entrecard credits? Give it a try. I dare ya!

Cinco de Mayo Celebration!

Happy Cinco De Mayo to all my little Mexican friends! This might seem weird, but I'm going to celebrate by wearing a festive, non offensive outfit all day.

The kids so enjoyed getting dropped off at school today. The tears of joy were so touching!

I also want to teach my daughter to appreciate all races of people, so, for Cinco De Mayo, I am having a mother/daughter slumber party.

The only problem I have is picking only one favorite Mexican!

I just wanted address one woman by the name of Maria.

Oh, come on Maria!!! Don't be so angry. Everyone loves a good Mexican joke!

For example, what is this?

It's a Mexican Navy Seal! ...rim shot...

This one speaks for itself...

Oh, come on Maria!! You know you laughed!

Wait a minute!!

Maybe you're right after all, Maria. No more Mexican jokes for me.

Look Who Won!

Since the lovely Spaz took my blog over on Friday, I wasn't able to award the Mom Likes Me Best Award that day. On with the awards!

Honorable mentions are:

moooooog35 with

Sarah Jessica Parker without makeup.

Reforming Geek with

I'm here for my MRI.

DouglasDyer with

Jeff Goldblum stepped into the machine, not realizing it already contained both a fly and a carburetor.

Me-Me King with

Michael Phelps, 2012 Olympics

PhilipDyer with

The glasses were expensive, but it was worth it to pay extra for the Julienne attachment.

And the winner is...

Poobomber with

After Mad Max was finished being filmed back in 1978, Warren went on to become a world class ... well, nothing.

And as we can see here, 'nothing' has a pretty shitty dental plan.

Mind of Spaz Takes Over!

Hi folks, spaz here. Ettarose forced me into participating into the HBDC roast, and so I’m roasting this here soccer mom files.

I’m not quite sure what a roast was, so I asked Etta for a definition. She told me I was 19 and had never kissed a girl.

WTF?

How is that an answer? This also confused me because I’m 31 and kissing is so 13.

Unless you do it with your penis.

Awesome.

Moving on.

Since I don’t have any kids of my own, I’m kind of at a loss for exactly what a soccer mom is. I decided to google it, but then I thought to myself that using google IMAGE search would be better. You know, since a picture is worth a thousand words and I really don’t have time to read a thousand words.

This is what I came up with.

Now I’m confused. You see, Kirsten has on her title header “Soccer mom files. If you’re a perfect mom with a perfect family with size 2 couture warm ups in every color than this blog is definitely not for you.”

I have several questions.

First of all, that picture of a soccer mom does indeed indicate that she is the perfect mom, in a Stepford wife sort of way. Yet your title indicates that soccer moms aren’t like that?

I mean, that picture doesn’t even show a size two. That’s more like a size negative two.

And she’s holding a soccer ball and SMILING. I’ve NEVER seen parents at their kids sporting events smile.

Only yell. And heckle. And fight. And get drunk. And puke on the refs shoes.

So who’s right Kirsten? Huh? You or google? Who am I supposed to believe? A blogger or a giant multinational corporation?

I thought so.

And what exactly is a couture warm up anyways?

Yea, one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time has LOTS to do with motherhood and the game of soccer.

Are you even paying attention, Kirsten?

And finally, Kirsten, what sort of mom let’s their kids look at pictures like this?

THIS is the sort of filth that mothers expose their kids too? I bet that’s you hanging onto that steroid induced homosexual pink mickey mouse fag.

And I bet it was one of your kids taking the picture.

Have you seen the FILTH on a MOMMY BLOGGERS blog?

Seriously Kirsten, you make me proud.

Keep up the good work, eh?

-Spaz out.