The Soccer Mom Files: August 2009

8/19/2009

I'll Be Back...

Just a note to my ones of fan who have noticed that I have been gone this week. Have no fear, I will be back next week better than ever!!

8/14/2009

Mom Likes Me Best Award!!

Thanks again for all of the great captions submitted for this week's picture of the Bacon Brothers.

First off, let's start with some honorable mentions.

One of my fave bloggers, Quirkyloon with

Looking for a few good eggs.

Bill's Bayou with

They're so cute. I could just eat them up!

and

Page 1 in Michael Jackson's recipe book.

Now, for the winner of this week's Mom Likes Me Best Award. I hate to say it, but this made me LOL. Is that wrong???

mooooog35 with

Jeffrey Dahmer's idea of a power breakfast.

8/12/2009

The Bacon Brothers

Awards and ec credits go to the winner of this week's Caption This contest. This one should be interesting!

8/11/2009

Happy Birthday, Boy!

I would like to wish my son a happy birthday today! He wanted a SpongeBob cake, so I slaved away last night for hours to make this cake, of which I am very proud.

I showed it to him this morning and he wanted to know where his arms and legs were and why he wasn't wearing his work hat from the Krusty Krab.

Kids are such jerks...

8/09/2009

The fam and I went camping this past weekend. I know, yay for me, right?! I just thought I would share some observations/life lessons that I have learned through this ~~ordeal~~ bonding experience.

Don't ask me how I know these things, I just do.

1. The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

2. On a similar note, unpacking your DJ equipment and leaving it in plain sight is helpful in keeping neighbors to a minimum.

3. Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the actual bears.

I hope that these few words of wisdom have helped you NOT EVER CAMP AGAIN!

8/06/2009

Mom?????

Of course I got a lot of hilarious captions this week thanks to all you funny mofos! For all of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the photo that needed a caption:

Before I give you the winner's caption, here are a few honorable mentions:

The always funny, nonamedufus with

A gay redneck dinner party featuring possum - the other white meat.

and

Gay rednecks - pork: it's not just for dinner.

Of course, Don didn't get it as usual...

Is that supposed to be a funny picture? Looks like a normal family to me. What's wrong...possum (and no it's not o')got your tongue?

Renalfailure with

The only one in this picture who hasn't done time in prison is the kid in the orange vest. He's on probation.

The prolific Lola with

The Brewster Clan.
1st row - Tommy, Grandpa.
2nd row - Tommy Jr., Billy

Tommy Sr. (speaking through clenched teeth): Now you boys smile dammit! And don't y'all say nothin' bout yer Maw. Stop yer whimpering Billy! How did I know Grandpa here was gonna sic Brutus on yer Maw...and on the day we were gittin' our family pitcher taken.

Grandpa: Shush you moron or yer next.

This week's winner of the Mom Likes Me
Best Award is A ndy with the sobering,

That's a Potentially Gay Hillbilly Couple with Two Children Left Behind and a Pet Possum 1, Darwin 0.

I'm Sold!!

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if they targeted car ads to women instead of men? Wonder no longer, folks!!! These Russian guys have what it takes! Feast your eyes...