Old School Wisdom

Parenting tip of the day:

"Not soon enough. Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during their early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness."

In your face, all you organic, no sugar moms! Who's the smart one now?!?!?!

Sorry for Being So Late!!

Sorry for not judging this past contest! I have had to be away from my blog for a few weeks. Now I'm back and ready to get on with it. I hope I have at least one reader out there left! Anyway, here goes...

Here the picture I gave you guys to work with:

Here are some great ones:


CatLadyLarew with

After the unparalleled success of his toilet paper head gear, nothing else seemed to go right with the rest of Sam's inventions.

nonamedufus with

They may have called her shit-for-brains, but Mei-Li felt she was really on to something with her latest invention intended for people who, when arguing, tend to go off in all directions.

Freak Smack with

Finally, a practical
shoe for the mermaid with fallen arches.

Bill's Bayou with

"When dog shit in shoe. You wipe out with toilet paper. Then turn shoe around and wear side with no shit. I sell million of this."

Nooter with

professor farnsworth had a sure fire winner for this years inventors convention - the handy h1n1 'sneeze block' dispenser unit. unfortunately he couldnt remember where he put it so he had to go with an older invention, the 'give yourself a swift kick in the butt' shoe. ever the optimist, he was still hopeful of his chances...

and

after the alien abduction and, um, examination, pat started having all sorts of wonderful new ideas

This MONTH's winner is Renal Failure with

Hi it's Vince with the Shoe-Wow!

Caption This

Not sure where to start with this one...

I'm Not Worried

Is anyone else ever scared of their kids sometimes?

Or is it just me?
I'm sure it's nothing...

Personal Foul

Thanks to everyone for your funny captions for this pic.

Let us begin with some honorable mentions...


Lola with

Yet another reason why football needs to eliminate the touchdown dance. You knew eventually someone was going to take it too far.

Bill's Bayou, as usual, had more than one great one with

Super Bowl? I'll show you my Super Bowel!

and

Personal foul or foul person? You decide.

and

"Go deep! GO DEEP!"

Nooter with

hey big boy, how bout if i put this ball between your uprights then we can go back to my place and practice our illegal procedures? yeah?

Those were all great, but Mooooog35 made me LOL with this one:

Desperate for sex, Randy misunderstands when someone in the stand told him that 'Eli Manning sucked.'

You get another one of these, Moooog! You probably need another trophy case by now. I hope all this glory doesn't go to your head. BTW, if you want to see Jesus in a Snuggie, stop by Moooog's blog today.

Caption This

Since the Super Bowl is coming up, I thought I would do a football themed Caption This contest today. Anybody game??

You Stuck That WHERE?!

ALWAYS read the small print. Don't ask my husband how he knows this.