I Got Worms!

Excuse me, I mean, "I Got Tagged!" Did any of you guys see a little national treasure called, "Dumb and Dumber"? If you did, you laughed at the title of this post. If not, then you just thought it was dumb. Let's be honest, which title would you read first?

Anyway, Kirsten over at Suburban Psychosis tagged me the other day. All I have to do is tell you six random facts about myself and then pass it on to six more lucky blogs. Here goes...

1. I used to be a synchronized swimmer.

2. I spent a semester of college living in Madrid.

3. I met my husband on a blind date.

4. I love reality shows. (Don't look at me like that! I also read People Magazine)

5. I'm an only child. (Don't give me that look either!)

6. My favorite movie of all time is, "Spinal Tap"

Now for my victims!! These are a few of my favorite blogs:

Kitty Concerto always has something funny to say.

I new blog I just discovered is Fertile. Give it a look or you're stupid!

Stiletto Mom is another new one for me. Her blog is subtitled, "Notes from a Bitch on Heels". Enough said. I'm hooked!

Next, there's Happy Meals and Happy Hour. The title got me from the start.

Another blog that will surely make you laugh is Debbie Does Drivel. And don't call me Shirley!

Lastly, go check out The Edge of Sanity. Etta Rose knows how to tell a story!

Now go do your homework!

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I Love It!

The very gifted and talented, Heinous, has done the proper thing and awarded me for my greatness! I never knew he was into such frilly things, but he gave me this pretty trophy that will look beautiful in my oh so crowded trophy case:

These things always come with red tape, so here goes...

First off, I get to regale you with 6 things that I love. Then I get to pass this award on to 6 blogs that I love. Easy as pie! Let's start with the things I love...

Hmmmm. Let's see. (make cricket sounds in your head)

Should I make this stuff that the real me loves, or stuff my psychotic soccer mom alter ego loves. The psychotic runs this blog and she's a lot more interesting than the real me is, so let's go with her.

Things I love...

1. Talking about myself

2. My pimp cup

3. My first breaths of fresh air after getting bailed out of the drunk tank.

4. What I did the night before to get into the drunk tank.

5. Bridezillas

6. David Beckham

I know that's kind of random, but love is crazy sometimes!

Now, for some great blogs to receive this award.

One of my favorite bloggers is The Fly from After Dinner Mint. He deserves a pretty award like this.

I also love Dani from Mom's Crazy Life. Go check her out if you want a good laugh.

Confessions of a Reforming Geek is a great read, NOT that I was ever a geek in my whole life! Especially that whole grade school part of my life.

Jamie, The Hussy Housewife, is a great guest blogger and all around slut. What's not to like?

Another must read is Confessions of a Random Chick. Check her out. I dare you not to laugh!

Last, but not least, a blog that I just discovered and love is The Blue Yak.

Now go read all of these blogs and tell 'em who sent you!

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Should You Be Allowed to Vote?

I'm glad to know that I can vote in the election! Are you ready? I got enough correct to look like I know some stuff, but not too many so I look like a nerd. My result says that I know what I'm talking about, but I still find time for a social life! At least that's what I tell myself. : ) What does your result say about you?

You Should Be Allowed to Vote

You got 12/15 questions correct. Generally speaking, you're very well informed. If you vote this election, you'll know exactly who (and what) you'll be voting for. You're likely to have strong opinions, and you have the facts to back them up.

Should You Be Allowed to Vote?

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Happy Halloween??

Just wanted to say, "Happy Halloween" to everybody!!

I hope you're having a better day than this kid!

BTW, if anyone can tell me what this guy is supposed to be, I would appreciate it.

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Guess Who Isn't Getting Any!

This is a little game I like to play called, "Guess Who Isn't Getting Laid Tonight". It's simple, just a few pictures of people who will never, ever procreate. Which is not necessarily at bad thing.

Exhibit A-This guy:

Exhibit B-The poor bastard who decides to wear these:

"Excuse me while I input your fake phone number into my iPhone."

Exhibit C-I don't know either:

Exhibit D-The only thing she's getting is a nice bowl of soup.

And last but not least, my FAVORITE. If you can guess what purpose this serves, other than ensuring she won't get any, I would love to know.

Thanks for participating!!

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There's a Surprise in the Bag!

I love my commenters!! They are so funny and helpful! Today I wanted to recognize the evil genius behind, "That's Funny Because", Eve Cleveland. She came up with a great Halloween party idea for me. Her game was a hit! Here is her suggestion...

Here is one that is time tested and mama approved-plus, it don't cost nothin'. It's called "There's a suprise in the bag!" All that's required is an old brown bag with somethin in it that is sure to git a start out of them buggers. Give a lil pitch then say, "Who wants to stick their hand in the bag first?!" Sound real peppy. Mouse traps work great!

We so enjoyed, "There's a Surprise in the Bag"!! Who knew you could have so much fun with mouse traps?

As expected, there were a few bleeding-heart, whiny parents who had a problem with it. Tips of your fingers grow back. Don't they? Oh wait! That's starfish! Ooops. Anyway both of those kids have nine more fingers. What's the big deal?

It's okay. I just gave them Eve's lawyer's number. Eve, you've had worse, right?

I guess I'll stop showing off about how great my Halloween party was. It's probably getting boring for all of you. You're actually probably fighting off those pesky feelings of jealousy right now. I won't rub it in your face anymore. Except for this:

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That's Heinous!

I just wanted to thank all of you funny mofos who gave me some GREAT Halloween party ideas! I used them all. It was the most exciting party ever!

I would love to give some love to these Martha Stewarts of the web for pushing my party over the edge!

Today, I would like to recognize Heinous, from Irregularly Periodic Ruminations (from now on to be referred to as IPR-I'm tired from typing that out and there are too many misspelling opportunities there) had one of the best ideas.

"How about Marco Polo but with polo mallets? Last one standing wins."

Genius! It's like Heinous is the "Halloween party idea" idiot savant! I don't have to tell you guys that that game was the "hit" of the night. One kid had his eye come out of the socket. The mom got angry, but I thought it just added to the Halloween fun! I told her it was Heinous' fault. Be expecting a call from her sometime this week. I'm sure it will be fine!

In fact, I loved the eyeball fun so much that I made a festive drink out of it.

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