Thanks for Dropping Me!

I would like to give my top ten Entrecard droppers a gift for visiting me for at least 10 seconds every day!

Let's begin!

The Junk Drawer
I thought she could use an economical/green way to organize her junk. You're welcome!

Rocket Scientist

I have a very educated following, as you can see by the Rocket Scientist visiting me for further education. In case there is something that I miss on this blog, here is a quick reference book for you to keep up on the latest in rocket science.

Next, we have ThemeLib. What to get someone who does templates, etc.? I guess an html joke would be good. Please for your enjoyment:

All Blogspot Templates
is number four dropper. I have already used up my hilarious send up of hyper text markup language. What to get this one? Who doesn't want a, "Yay for you!"?

It's gonna be hard to upstage that one, but here goes. We're at our halfway point with numero cinco. The Exaggerator. Since I give this one the best prize of all. It's one of my old posts pertaining to a Nigerian scam artist. This is the subject of The Exaggerator's last post. Here it is. It might just make you laugh. It's a great way to handle those people.

Parental Instincts comes next. I thought I would give my two cents on parental instincts.

And my favorite!

Number seven comes to us from Over a Cup of Barako. Barako gets my version of a good coffee mug.

Beyond Left Field
is number eight. He wants to be Popeye in his next life.

I ask him to reconsider.

The second to last honoree is Lola's Diner. Lola loves a little diner humor.

Last, but not least, it's Lilaphase. No offense to her husband, but he tells terrible jokes and she has to endure this. Here is a book that is surely likely to have better jokes than his Barbie one.

Until next month, we are finished with the Entrecard Awards.


Kikkoman Dork Winner!!!

And the Kikkoman Dork winner is....

Before I crown the Kikkoman Dork, I would like to thank all the participants. It was very hard to pick a winner. Some honorable mentions include:

Father Muskrat with
You stupid Americans don't "get" me, but I'm kind of a big deal in Japan.

The Exaggerator

"Direct from Walworth, Wisconsin--it's {drum roll] KIKKO-MAN!!!

Not wanting to be outdone, Sarah Jessica Parkers date made quite a stir at the Oscars wearing a Viviene Westwood original.

This weeks winner is:

Rich, from The Wordless Blog with
Definitely single and will continue to be as long as this is his eHarmony avatar.

All of the blogger mentioned here today get the coveted, "Mom Likes Me Best" Award.

I would also like to honor Father Muskrat again with the funniest comment of the week. It was for this post about the Waffle House Wedding. He made me LOL with:
Did they serve insulin at the reception?


Kikkoman Dork

1000 Entrecard credits to someone who can caption this.


Let's Do This!

I have a friend/comedian named Harris Bloom. He's gonna be big, but he needs my very important help. It is a little known fact that Will Ferrel got his start on this very blog. I am the reason he got enough of a following to be recognized by SNL. We went to college together and he begged me to use my influence with the American public to get him famous. Bing, bang, boom! He made a nice career for himself. It worked out well for me, because he agreed to pay me 20% of his earnings for the rest of his life. It will be great when I start getting that money. He has explained to me that there is a small glitch in his bank account and as soon as it's cleared up I will be swimming in cash!

Here's where Harris Bloom comes into the picture. He is hilarious and I think he needs some attention. All you have to do is vote for him here.


The good news is that is takes two seconds, you don't have to register and you need to do it every day. By putting this information up on my site, Harris has agreed to give me 20% of all future career earnings. He doesn't know this yet, but as soon as he reads this, he IS contractually obligated.

I even got my good friend, Mr. Tom Cruise in on it.

And Joe Sixpack...

And religious assholes...

My butt...

My apologies to Mrs. Harris, but I never miss an opportunity to show off my booty.

Please vote for Harris! This has nothing to do with the fact that Mr Bloom has these negatives in a secure location somewhere in the tri-state area.


I Got Tagged!

My bloggy friend, Ettarose from Sanity on Edge, tagged me the other day. My mission, should I choose it, is as follows:

“Your ship has sunk. You have, of course, been stranded on a deserted island. You have salvaged a copy of the King James Version of the Bible and a copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. Nothing else.

“The very next day you find one of those Arabian Lamps in the sand. Of course, you rub it and, of course, a rather grumpy Genie appears.

“‘Let’s get this straight - there is a recession going on. There are restrictions on the three wishes now. I don’t do water or air transport now so no boats, planes or magic carpets. As for electronics, forget it. There isn’t the infrastructure on this island.

“‘I can let you have one book and I mean one VOLUME, one essential item and one luxury item. Now hurry up and make your choices, I have to get to those five other islands you are going nominate.’”

1. Book:

2.Essential Item:

Extra long shoehorn

3. Luxury Item

I dare Queen Size Funny Bone, Reforming Geek and Life in the Short Lane to tell me what they would take with them!

Love Ya! Babe

I would like to thank Allena from In the Eyes of the Beholder for giving me this "Love Ya" award.

Isn't it pretty?

Here's the red tape:

Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who can choose eight more and include this text into the body of their award.

I would like to pass this on to some fellow bloggers from humorbloggers.com.

The Self Deprechaun

Musings of a Quirky Loon

Lady Sarcasm

The Creative Junkie

I'd Rather Be Blogging

The Jannaverse

The Screaming Me Me


Now, do yourself a solid and check out these funny ladies!


There's No Going Back Now!

Before I continue on with Donald and Crystal's wedding ceremony, I would like to introduce my new trivia challenge. It is on the top of my navigation bar. I love trivia and I play Nanny Goats in Panties' trivia game every day. I thought it might be fun to try one on my site. I am the only one who has played today, so I dare you to try to beat me! WARNING: I consistently score in the top 95th percentile in Nanny's contest, so watch out biotches!

With business put aside, let's get into the wedding of the year!

Here are some of the kids in the wedding. As you can see by their faces, some of us were a little disappointed to have the wedding at the Waffle House. Many of us hoped it would be at The Oyster Shack. Apparently, those plans fell through.

Moving on...The blushing bride takes a peek!

The bride easing some of the jitters.

The final touches.

The maid of honor wore pink.

Pat wore the traditional mullet.

The kids scamper down the staircase.

Her big moment!

I have to admit that I threw up in my mouth a little here...

Happy family!

I would love to share with you some of the reception on Monday.


A Wedding, Debra Style!

I thought I would join a contest that Lola is having over at Lola's Diner. It's perfect for me, because all I have to do is write about a vacation. Luckily, as many of you know, I just returned from my vacation to Kentucky.

I was visiting my new good friends, Debra and Steve. We had a great time. While I was there, Debra's step son from her first common law husband was married. The wedding was a lot of fun for all of us. I would love to share with you some photos from the happy occasion.

Here is Debra putting the final touches on the groom.

Here is the groom, Donald, in front of the venue.

Do not ask me how they got the world famous Waffle House to close down for the day. Let's just say that the franchise owner was sittin' pretty with a case of Natural Light, a case of Mountain Dew and a pack of cigarettes. Unfortunately, that blew most of their budget and we were all required to BYOS. (Bring your own seats)

Some other candids...

I must go now, but I would love to show you some pictures of the ceremony tomorrow!



I thought I would pull an Angelina Jolie and use my blog for good today. I was out walking my children yesterday when we came upon a lost cat! Of course we took her home and gave her something to eat. We immediately took pictures of her and made signs to put up all over the neighborhood. We haven't gotten any responses, so I thought I would put the sign up here and see if anyone recognizes her.

BTW, whoever owns this cat should be ashamed of him/herself. She is in no way potty trained. She bites. She has fleas. She has no fur on her tail for some reason. I could go on and on!