My daughter, Devin, and I were at Tae Kwon Do last night. We are incredibly talented black belts. We are TECHNICALLY yellow belts, but for the purposes of this article, we're black belts. Half of my classmates are between the ages of 6 and 10, so you understand the caliber of my craft.
I sometimes moonlight as a rocket scientist, as I was last night, and tried a new kind of twisty, jumpy thing that didn't exactly work as intended. Here I am...
hahahaha! Just kidding! I jump a lot higher than that loser!
Anyway, I landed, heard a pop and fell to the ground in agony. You know the kind of pain where you can't breathe and think that you're gonna throw up. I was in so much pain, that I wasn't embarrassed about what I must have looked like until much later. Now I'm embarrassed. I'm scared to see my little sparring partner, Mikayla. Oh, and I don't even want to think about Logan.
Sorry, I have this focussing problem!!
Now, I'm writhing embarrassingly on the ground and I don't really want my daughter to see me like this. She might get scared or something. So, I hear the chip off the old block say, "Now, how am I going to get home?" That is not a joke. That's exactly what she said! "How does this effect me?" is her motto. I taught her too well. It almost makes me want to treat others better, but I think it's just the pain meds talking.
Speaking of pain meds, I have to go now. I'm losing consciousness...
You know, if you don't finish those pain meds, I'll give you my address...
ReplyDeletehaha, its sign that *gasp!* you might be getting old. Uh oh. I think its time you pull out those old mom jeans you have buried in your closet and call it a day. But if you want, I can just pop whatever it was right back in, haha.
ReplyDelete@da old man-You're first on my list! But don't hold your breath about there being any leftovers!
ReplyDelete@thefly-I'm NOT getting those mom jeans out no matter what you say! : )
See? We worry about our kids too much. And apparently, they don't worry too much about us.
ReplyDeleteAt least you didn't hear her laughing her butt off like mine would have....then she would have banned me from class. Yours sounds more empathetic than mine..dang
ReplyDeletewell thank gawd you managed to post something, otherwise what would I have done tonight???
ReplyDelete@nanny-You're right. They're nothing but a bunch of punks!
ReplyDelete@juicebox-I'm sure she was laughing. I was too busy crying!
@chat blanc-LOL! I'm glad I saved the day! I'm STILL here on a friday night!
Ouch, That will be my daughter in a year or two. Ration some meds for the next trip to the movies!!
ReplyDelete@ crazy-Just watch out! They turn on ya fast.
ReplyDelete*Now, how am I going to get home?*
ReplyDeleteLMAO!! I love your daughter!!
Oh . . . um . . . feel better, m'kay?
Ditto with my kids.
ReplyDeleteBut I did learn a while back that doing my Irish Step Dancing with little ones who could kick their legs over their heads is dangerous. ;)
@honeybell-She's a punk! : )
ReplyDelete@meg-I wouldn't even touch that with a ten foot pole!
First, any kind of meds are cool, but pain meds, ultra cool.
ReplyDeleteSecond, the daughter: Ugh.
Third, the photo of you in the air: Wow, your profile avatar and your picture are so different. I had no idea. Who would've thunk?
@unfinished-Yeah, I look a lot different in real life! I get that all the time!
ReplyDeleteDaughters are always so kind and thoughtful aren't they?? Uh yah.
ReplyDeleteAnd that sucks about "the incident" (which is how it will now be referred to). I got my pinkie toe broken in TKD (a little lingo from us black belts *wink*) because some other fat kid lost his balance and landed on me. If my foot felt better I would have kicked him in the face. I don't care that he was fourteen and I was 23. Don't bloody care.
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